Ultradia (A Sestina) by Milly

You stare hard but the sky is always cold.
Follow the road. It might be dark, always dark.
Follow it, follow it so far past the stars
That you cannot see home. You are unstable.
God has forsaken you and nobody loves you.
God no longer helps you. Leave the windowsill.

Your wrists are still bleeding, staining that windowsill.
Too bad you didn't jump, now you're feeling cold.
Crimson vision. Won't they see this waterfall? See you?
Trickles past the window but all is dark.
Everyone is gone. Loving and living under the stars.
No one can hear you cry. Dizzy. Unstable.

Rocking and shaking, your own foundations unstable.
Time does not pass. Glass broken on that windowsill.
Tiny shards stuck in shreds of flesh like stars.
Biting wind tonight. You won't miss the cold.
You cannot cope. You are weak. You crave dark.
Coping is for the weak and darkness craves you.

Do you have any regrets? Well do you?
Answer me now or I’ll leave you unstable.
I’ll leave you facing this alone in the dark.
Fearing the other side, sitting alone on this windowsill.
You bared your soul, all that’s left is cold.
Empty and hollow now. No one watching but stars.

Their judgement seeks you, defines you; those watching stars.
The final witnesses. Whatever you wanted they denied you.
Wishing never worked, all they are is cold.
How naive, believing in wishes. Easy wishes are unstable.
Begging the skies for help from every windowsill.
Believing those lies once saved you from the dark.

You seek sweet oblivion in that all encompassing dark.
The end is coming now, heading for the stars.
Feeling weightless now, still sitting on that windowsill.
This feeling takes you, this feeling engulfs you.
It's a fractured mind you inhabit, ultradian, unstable.
You can't take this anymore. Everything is cold.

They are cold and so dark,
Those watching stars make you unstable.
They watch you from your windowsill.